Civility

Hello-

I wrote the following article as a Letter to the Editor 21 years ago this month. The United States was preparing to invade Iraq. In the prolonged march to war, Americans were divided and ambivalent about invading Iraq vs allowing the UN to continue searching for WMD’s. We of course invaded.

I am struck by similarities in the tenor and tone of today’s political environment with those of yesteryear. Put aside the Iraq War for a moment and consider our individual as well as collective behavior the past 20 years.

When it comes to engaging in discussions related to the issues of the day: Elections, Voting, Free Speech, Abortion, Gun Control, The Supreme Court, Trump, January 6^th etc. we are anything but civil. Battlelines are drawn around nearly every issue while the media elevates everything including the weather, to crisis levels. From the classroom to the boardroom, from our living rooms to the Halls of Congress, our willingness to listen and compromise is practically non-existent. It’s us vs them and they are evil. Take no prisoners and offer no quarter.

Perhaps it has never been any other way. But it sure seems like it could be, at least at times. If we were more civil. I hope this is one of them.

Paul-March 2024

Civility:  Important during difficult times

March 2003

Soon, barring the unforeseeable, we will be at war with Saddam Hussein and his armies. These are indeed tumultuous times. The United Nations Security Council in protracted and at times tortuous diplomatic maneuvering is attempting to stave off what many consider to be the inevitable. Americans as well as others around the globe are engaged in spirited, often heated and at times hostile debate over the wisdom of sending American troops into harms way. Battle lines among non-combatants are now intractably drawn. War or the talk of it has a galvanizing force pitting those for and those opposed. Few if any of us will change our opinion of what is the morally right thing to do. Yet we will try. There is no lack of passion in our attempts to convince others that we are right and they wrong. What is noticeably lacking, however, in the tone and tenor of our pleading is…civility. Along with it a diminishing respect for the opinions of others. There has been an unprecedented attempt by both sides to vilify and demonize anyone with differing opinions. We may carry signs proclaiming undying support for the concept of free speech, but that is not what we practice. We extol the benefits of diversity but condemn those that may offer us legitimate differing opinions.

Those on the right take a decidedly different view of how to achieve stability and peace among the world’s peoples than those on the left. They tend to view freedom and democracy as hard earned; special rights that must be vigilantly protected on a daily basis perhaps even minute by minute. Evil is not something that withers away of its own accord they argue. You cannot negotiate with terrorists. Instead, we must fight and destroy those that would destroy us. The rights we enjoy should also be extended to others around the globe. After all, we believe them to be inalienable and universal. We cannot leave it to our children to endure the consequences our own laziness. The costs in taking action now far outweigh the long-term costs of appeasement.  And on it goes. These are not evil people. George Bush is not Adolf Hitler. Our cabinet and military leaders are not “jack booted thugs” hell bent on ruling the world. Yet, these are common portrayals in newspapers around the world.

Those on the left have an arguably more optimistic view of the human condition. Saddam Hussein, although evil can be contained. The costs of doing so far out weigh the risks of a potential Armageddon. Human life is precious and taking it must be done only as a last resort. Let the inspections continue. Time is on our side. These people are likewise…good people. They are not communists, traitors or naïve simpletons.

Common among both positions yet surely to be denied, is that we all at the end of the day share a common goal, that of peace. We simply differ on how that is to be achieved and maintained. Our differences are glaring, our convictions steeled. Remember, however, that we have been here before and we will be here again. When it is all over and the world has moved on to the next crisis, we will still be here. Living with one another. Friend and foe alike. In order to make that bearable, we must now renew our commitment to conduct ourselves in a more civil manner.

When we choose to belittle those that disagree with us, we not only weaken our argument but we lose our credibility. Stooping to character assassination is a sign of desperation. We fear that we may lose the argument so we utilize this tactic as a means to preserve our position. As though it were some misguided form of consolation. Impugning the integrity of others is indicative of weak debating skills and perhaps a sign that we are not fully understanding of our own ideas. Worst yet, perhaps, we are simply jumping on a band wagon. Feeling as though we belong to something even if we are not exactly sure what that something is. Hurray for our side.

The end result of behaving in a non-civil manner in the heat of debate is that we become what we most fear…bigots. Spewing anger and venom toward anyone with whom we disagree. Name calling will not succeed in changing opinions, influencing governmental policy or achieving peace. If anything, the opposite is true. It will further entrench us and those with whom we disagree not with the forces of righteousness but alone swaddled in self pity and hatred.

We are judged by how we conduct ourselves under pressure, when the chips are down and others are seemingly losing their heads. Let us all rise to this moment and earn the pride we will feel having behaved honorably when the going got tough.

So let the debates continue. Be honest, be forceful be spirited but above all else …be civil.

Paul/TJ

Addendum

Civility goes beyond mere politeness. It is central to being a good citizen, not only as a private individual but as a puplic person with rights as well as obligations. Civility plays a crucial role in fostering meaningful dialog, respecting diverse perspectives and navigating disagreements constructively to arrive on common ground. Our democracy is dependent upon this ideal. Being civil does not require we agree with others. Rather, that we acknowledge and respect their rights to expression just as we do our own.

I feel myself bracing for the upcoming 2024 Presidential Election “season”. I will do my utmost to remember my own words and follow what I preach. Please join me.

Note: I am fairly certain that in the near future we will examine Russia’s attack on Ukraine as well as the Isreal-Hamas War. Time has a way of altering perspectives.