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If you read my last blog on “Ripped Jeans” you know I am not a fan of what I believe to be a disrespectful fashion statement. Or, at the very least a misguided attempt to forge a bond with those less fortunate or financially challenged. Some of you agree.
I also touched upon the history of blue jeans and their role in our society. Blue Jeans in various iterations have become a vehicle of “expression”. Whether it be our individuality, rebelling against something or to make a political statement.
Perhaps my true feelings were masked by the subtleties of my argument (NOT), but I called upon the women on planet earth to discontinue wearing distressed jeans. My well-reasoned arguments aside, I also welcomed the arrival of a new fashion trend to replace this now “tired” look. Something America and the rest of the world could embrace with open arms or, in this case, legs. BE CAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU ASK.
These jeans were part of their Fall/Winter Collection unveiled last year during Milan’s Fashion Week. Yes, I also thought this was a joke. Some are choosing to use less flattering, (as if that’s possible) euphemisms like:
Despite or perhaps because of negative feedback on social media and some fashion enthusiasts, these jeans sold out instantly across multiple platforms at $800 a pair. I know what you’re thinking. What’s not to like? Right? Or, where can I get a pair?
Well, I have Good News & Bad News. But first some background.
JordanLuca, a London based company, is known for its unconventional approach to men’s fashion, incorporating unorthodox elements into its designs. I never would have guessed. Two that stand out:
-Jeans with a horizontal zipper in front. Okay. Looks dangerous. For some reason there is a vertical zipper in the rear. A steal at £425 ($540 USD). Priceless if you must access both simultaneously.
-Shirts with sleeve and head openings at either end. Of course, why wouldn’t you? Perhaps they were discontinued as for the life of me I could not find an image.
Lest you think Jordan Bowen & Luca Marchetto, the co-founders of JordanLuca, were in it for the money, well that too, or for cheap publicity, well that too it appears there is some thought behind their creation of Pee-Stained Jeans. Perhaps only upon reflection or to deflect criticism they offer up the following:
“These jeans are a comment on the fact we don’t really need more clothes but have an obsessive love affair with stuff”.
PT- Hmmm. So, keep buying what you don’t need from us I suppose.
“Consumerism is an obscene fetish. We buy things not because we need them but because they are an emotional turn on. [The jeans are] about fetish in its truest form. The ultimate critique on our fetished capitalist state where we don’t or can’t slow down even for the bathroom”. Oh really? I hope this is not part of any modern MBA program. “The subsequent commotion has now turned our jeans into a comment on the fetish of capitalism”.
PT- Wow. That’s a mouthful. And a lot of fetishes. We won’t dive into this but know the term fetish of capitalism is not the same as commodity fetishism developed by Karl Marx in Capital: A Critique of Political Economy (1867). You will not be quizzed.
I imagine many of you are wondering about the Social Appropriateness of Pee-Stained Jeans. After extensive research I have determined that although they would be legal in 45 of the 50 states, they may indeed be out of step with today’s kinder, gentler social consciousness. The wearing of Pee-Stained Jeans may indeed be found to be disrespectful, hurtful or even cruel to many individuals or groups including:
Then again, they may provide just the right kind of cover.
Okay. Now for the News.
First the Good News– There’s no need to raid your piggy bank. Despite strong sales, JordanLuca decided against producing or selling any more Pee-Stained Jeans. They got the attention they wanted along with a broadening of their brands awareness. By dropping the line, they can now claim they took the high road, and saved capitalism from a downward spiral of consumer gimmickry.
The Bad News– Wet Pants Denim Co. has stepped into fill the void. See for yourself at www.wetpantsdenim.com . You can “own the aesthetic without the discomfort”. They are considerably less expensive and are available in four colors.
They also have shorts and matching hats. But hurry though. The celebrities they co-
opted to promote their products (Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson, and Adam Sandler) to name a few may not approve of the “wet look, dry feel” jeans they appear to be wearing. Along the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction front or You Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Wet Pants Denim is also selling Crypto Currency. Yep. It’s called, well, you’ll just have to visit their website to find out more. Let me just say it is billed as the world’s first cryptocurrency* developed for the sole purpose of facilitating the purchase of jeans designed to simulate the look of authentic urinary incontinence”. Nuf said.
I will now take the pledge to never, ever again write about distressed blue jeans.
-END POST-
I left my home in the small Western New York city of Batavia in March 1977 vowing never to shovel snow again. Never say never. Settling for 38 years in what was for me the "promised land" of Santa Barbara, California. I married, helped raise a family, started a business, traveled and live a wonderful life. We spent the last 10 years of our west coast journey in the small, quiet, picturesque town of Ojai. My oldest friends call me TJ.
My wife Deborah and I moved to Colorado in 2015 to be near our daughter, her husband and 2 growing grand-boys. Add 2 bulldogs (French & English) to the mix and our hands and hearts are full. We all reside in Niwot, a small quaint town 15 minutes north of Boulder. The mighty Rocky Mountains are at our doorstep.
I am a man, son, brother, cousin, friend, husband, father, uncle, grand father, in-law and mostly retired Coloradan. You can read more about me on the About Page. If you are curious about my professional life you can visit my Career at Venture Horizon.
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I am waiting for the appearance of undistressable jeans, They have an extra layer of material at the knee. On the outside they are a fashion statement. On the inside they are just practical.
You can purchase patch kits on Amazon that will add the practicality you desire. Perhaps you can market Kevlar jeans that would be bulletproof as well as non-destressable.
Paul
There may be an additional need that buyers of pee-pants: the need for attention.
[posted 5/28 11:20]
It’s hard to imagine seeking that kind of attention.
Paul
Google Calico Cut Pants. This was originally started as a satire joke on Netflix’s show “I think you should leave”.
Hilarious to see the joke has expanded. https://getcalicocutpants.com/
Boy, they way expanded.
Thanks Joe,
No. That is my stunt double.
Paul
Paul, the introduction of “pee-stained jeans,” in my mind, reinforces your great points about this ridiculous and disrespectful fashion statement. Say, is that a pix of you behind the “Breaking News” title? What a stud!! Thanks again, Joe